Dear Abby: Jobless pal’s ‘temporary’ stay stretches on

Dear Abby Nine months ago my friend Anne moved in with me after losing her home following her boyfriend s death Since then she s had trouble finding employment but when she does work she spends money on stuff she really doesn t need She s perpetually talking about how she hates to be a burden on me and will move out ASAP Then she buys random stuff from online shopping sites like designer purses and clothes so I doubt she s saving for her own place yet She says it s because she s been through a lot and she deserves it She has a you only live once mindset She once encouraged me to buy a brand-new set of luggage just because I liked it She also shows her appreciation to me by buying me things We re both in our mid- s each with an only child in their s and I m trying to get rid of stuff I don t need so my daughter won t have to deal with it when I m gone I know we re both adults and that I don t have the right to tell Anne what to do with her money and life I just would rather she take the money she s spending on frivolous stuff for me and put it toward getting her own place Anne s sensitive and takes things personally How do I break it to her gently that I m not a fan of presents and the best way she can show her gratitude to me is to save her hard-earned money instead of buying me more stuff I don t need and really don t want Thanks But No Thanks Dear T B N T What you need to break gently to your friend is that you do not want a permanent roommate and that if she wants to show her gratitude you would appreciate her starting to seriously save so she has the money to get a place of her own Dear Abby I was wondering how to handle questions I get about children My wife and I don t have kids For example at a networking event in which people don t want to lead off with what they do children seem a safe topic In my opinion if someone wants to bring up the subject of children they should first ask if everyone in the group has them because it becomes awkward when they get to me and I say we are childless Same goes for other sensitive topics such as cancer etc Isn t it rude for people to assume that everyone has children because if they don t they are then excluded in the group discussion I can t share my child s graduation story broken bones etc Child-free in Michigan Dear Child-free Not everyone has kids It s a fact Rather than rude the questioners are thoughtless A way to deal with the question would be to say My wife and I are child-FREE Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA