Dear Abby: Is Justine lashing out, or mentally ill?

Dear Abby My niece-in-law Justine is a scarce years younger than my husband and I We have been best friends for the last years She s and divorced with a grown daughter but no man in her life She s extremely lonely and has only us as emotional help During the last year she has had to move her -year-old mother with whom she has a tumultuous relationship in with her Justine s daughter has distanced herself from her mother because Justine has erratic moods In the past few days she sent me a four-page letter saying how angry she was with me and my family about things that never happened She invented transgressions insulted my grown children and targeted my daughter-in-law My son is furious My husband who loves Justine and feels like an older brother says he wants to repair our family I love my husband but my first allegiance is to my kids and I m surprised and hurt that he isn t furious with her for attacking me with untruths He says we have to find a way to get past this She didn t include him in her letter I m trying to be prepared for upcoming family gatherings What can be done to repair this Looking for a Way in the South Dear Looking If Justine is inventing things that never happened in order to justify her anger the chances are great that she is mentally ill Until she is willing to recognize that she is driving away the people who care for her the majority things may get worse Suggest to your husband that if he can convince Justine to get the help she necessities you are prepared to forgive her for the hurt she is causing Then all of you should cross your fingers and hope that she sees the wisdom Dear Abby My older sister thinks she s better than me She makes little snide comments and thinks it s OK It has led to a couple of big arguments in the past seven years The last argument was over several money I was missing She s been stealing from anybody and everybody from hospitals doctors offices family members and her boyfriend s family When I realized that she had stolen money from me as well it was the last straw I confronted her and her response was I am now dead to her We haven t spoken in several months Her boyfriend died last week and she hasn t informed me I detected out on social media Should I reach out to her about funeral arrangements or contact his family instead His family never really talked to any of us They didn t like her because they thought she was only there for his money Out of the Loop in Arizona Dear Out Unless you feel the need to attempt to make up with your troubled sister do not reach out However if you want to do something for the boyfriend s family send them a nice condolence card expressing your sympathy Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA