Dear Abby: Fed up with sister’s lousy gifts

Dear Abby My sister is cheap She s also not good at choosing gifts for people Often the things she gives are worse than if she d done nothing at all An example She was just here visiting and brought my -year-old a toy car she d picked up at a garage sale fine so far but one of the wheels was broken off She had the wheel in her purse and reported something about gluing it back on but never did Once she left we tried to glue it but it turned out the toy wasn t fixable and my son was very disappointed This isn t the first time this has happened There s a history of clothes that are too small ripped or dirty toys sent so late the child has long outgrown that stage etc It s not a matter of money She s the director of a large law school so she can buy anything she likes It is a matter of attention I ve spoken to her several times about not bringing gifts anymore but she glosses over the disappointment and says she loves seeing kids open the things she brings Someday my kids will be old enough to see her behavior as quirky but for now I want it to stop Am I right Gift Rift in the West Dear Gift Rift You are not wrong Your sister appears to be a little off-center I agree with you that one day in the not-too-distant future your children will be discerning enough to notice the gifts your sister brings are soiled or broken and selected without regard to their interests or taste A way to avoid the dilemma would be not to invite her to visit around birthday or holiday time or intercept her inappropriate gifts before the kids see them Dear Abby Last year we renovated our house We now have a south-facing roof that is ready for the installation of solar panels Our utility company has an incentive scheme to lower the cost of the equipment but it ends in six months The only thing holding us back is the next-door neighbors old tall tree that shades our roof where the panels would go The tree is cracked and has been coming down in sections over the last several years Previous owners of the house had to repair their front windows and gutter after a large branch came crashing down in a storm The current owners are a young couple with a small baby We have had occasional friendly driveway conversations but don t really know them Would it be presumptuous to ask if they would be willing to let us pay to have their tree removed People can be prickly about their property But maybe they wouldn t mind someone else covering what is perhaps an inevitable cost We want to continue having a friendly relationship while also moving forward with our project Thoughts Upgrading in North Carolina Dear Upgrading Because you have a cordial relationship with these neighbors it shouldn t be offensive to point out that their tree presents a trouble When you do tell them that a falling branch had damaged their front windows and gutter which caused an expensive repair Explain that the cracks in the tree could present a danger to their little one then volunteer that you are more than willing to pay the cost of having it removed Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA