Dear Abby: Co-worker’s ‘plus-one’ is affair partner
Dear Abby I have an awkward wedding conundrum I hope you can help me with I am getting married and want to invite two co-workers with whom I am very close One of them is married the other Sara is in the process of divorcing her husband Sara was unhappy for years with her almost ex-husband and we witnessed the deterioration of their marriage over several years About a year ago while still married Sara began an affair She s still seeing this man sneaking out meeting him on his lunch break going to motels while she goes through the divorce process She considers them to have been a couple for the past year I m keeping a very tight grip on my guest list to control the costs I don t want to pass judgment on Sara but I don t think her situation at present qualifies as a true committed relationship which is the parameter I set when deciding who gets to bring a plus-one I also don t want my wedding to be the event where she debuts her new man I know she will feel slighted because in her mind he s her boyfriend and they are a couple I have met him only once but because they have been so secretive he s a complete stranger to me Sara may resent that I invited our other co-worker s husband and not her boyfriend Is there a way I can handle this tactfully Bewildered Bride Dear Bewildered If you invite one close co-worker s crucial other and exclude the other there are guaranteed to be hurt feelings If you explain that you don t feel she is in a committed relationship after a year you will get yourself deeper into hot water because she will be insulted Believe me if you do what you are considering it s going to cost you far more than the price of two dinners Dear Abby I m a -year-old woman I ve been single all my life but now wish I could find a companion to share my later years with My obstacle is I m not interested in a sexual relationship I have never been good at the physical part of intimacy As a end I ve had limited experience and not much luck with men When I was younger I had a reasonably healthy sexual appetite but couldn t seem to do the act right although I enjoyed the prelude My idea of a relationship now would be with a kind supportive man who likes to dance and enjoy life but who s OK with no sex Is this a reasonable expectation at my age or should I just give it all up I don t even know how I d go about finding such a partner without fearing I d have to prove myself and experience more loss Incidentally I had counseling years ago about other issues and the strong possibility arose about childhood sexual abuse but it was vague and not resolved Wanting This But Not That Dear Wanting I can t guarantee that you will find a partner but there is a website for asexual people that offers a lot of information as well as a way to connect with the rest of the ace short for asexual district Its members call it AVEN which stands for Asexual Visibility and Schooling Configuration It can be identified at asexuality org You and plenty of others may find it helpful and I wish you luck in your quest to find a loving relationship
